RELATIONAL LIFE THERAPY (RLT) COACH
You love each other. So why does it feel this hard?
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You’re not here because your relationship is a disaster. You’re here because it’s not what it could be, and you’re tired of pretending that’s fine.
Maybe you have the same argument on repeat, different words, same outcome. Maybe the distance has gotten so familiar you’ve stopped noticing it. Maybe you still love each other but somewhere along the way you stopped actually feeling close.
You’ve probably tried. The conversations that start well and end in shutdown. The books. The “we should really talk about this” that never quite happens. You’re not lazy or broken. You’re just running the same patterns over and over, and insight alone isn’t enough to change them.
That’s not a character flaw. It’s how relational patterns work. And it’s exactly what’s possible to shift.
What becomes possible
Couples who do this work don’t just stop fighting. They learn to repair faster, to actually hear each other, to bring their real selves into the relationship instead of their defended ones.
They stop managing the distance and start closing it.
The intimacy you want isn’t gone. It’s buried under patterns you both learned long before you met each other. Uncovering it is real work. It’s also the most worthwhile thing most people ever do.
Where I come in
I’m Mary Ellen. I’m a relationship and couples coach in Denver, and I’ve been doing this work for 12 years.
I work with couples using Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a methodology that goes deeper than communication skills into the patterns actually driving your dynamic. Why you each move toward or away from connection under pressure. Where you learned to love the way you love. What it would take to do it differently.
My own framework, the Love Wisely Method™, layers in mindfulness and somatic work so the shifts happen in how you actually feel and respond, not just in what you know intellectually. Because understanding your patterns and changing them are two very different things.
I’m trained in RLT, certified in transformational coaching and breathwork, and have spent more than 30 years doing my own relational work. I know what it’s like to be in a relationship where the love is real but the dynamic is painful. I also know what it looks like when people commit to changing it.
Who this is for
My couples coaching is for partners who are committed but struggling. You might be caught in conflict that never fully resolves. Feeling more like roommates than partners. Carrying resentment that’s quietly crowding out the good. Wanting to reconnect but not sure how to find your way back.
I also work with individuals who want to understand their own relational patterns and build the kind of partnership they actually want.
What working together looks like
Most clients work with me through a 4-month intensive program. We meet regularly, go deep into the patterns running your relationship, and build new ones that actually hold.
This isn’t talk therapy. It’s structured, skills-based, and grounded in the understanding that lasting change requires more than better communication tactics. It requires shifting who you each are in the relationship.
Fun Facts
I'm a proud cat mom of 2
I love dancing to live music
My guilty pleasures are chocolate and Love is Blind
I'm the very definition of a personal growth junkie
I recently married the love of my life thanks to this "relationship work"
If any of this sounds like where you are, I'd love to talk.
Book a free discovery call. We’ll get clear on what’s happening, what you want instead, and whether working together makes sense.