Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Couples Coaching in Denver + Online
If you’ve been searching for Relational Life Therapy in Denver or online, you may be looking for a relationship professional trained in Terry Real’s direct, practical, and deeply relational approach to couples work.
I’m Mary Ellen Flesher, a relationship and couples coach certified in Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
I incorporate RLT principles and tools into my couples coaching through my broader Love Wisely Method™, helping partners recognize destructive relationship patterns, take meaningful responsibility for their part, address what’s underneath their reactions, and build the skills required for healthier connection.
I provide relationship coaching focused on the vision you have for your relationship rather than psychotherapy.
What Is Relational Life Therapy?
Relational Life Therapy, commonly called RLT, was developed by therapist and author Terry Real as an approach to relationship work.
Rather than remaining only at the level of communication techniques, RLT looks closely at the relational strategies each person brings into the relationship, how those strategies affect their partner, and what each person needs to change to create a healthier dynamic.
The work values compassion and accountability.
Understanding where a protective behavior came from matters. So does taking responsibility for what that behavior is doing to your relationship today.
What I Appreciate About RLT
One of the reasons RLT resonates so strongly with my work is that it doesn’t require us to decide which partner is “the problem.”
Both partners have a role in the dynamic. Those roles aren’t necessarily equal. But each person has somewhere they can begin creating change.
That fits naturally with the way I teach the Dance of Disconnection. Your partner has a move. You have a move. Those moves interact.
When one person changes their move, the dance itself can begin to change.
You can also learn more about the Protective Patterns that often create each partner’s move in that dance.
RLT Concepts We May Use in Our Work
- Relational accountability
- Adaptive and Protective Child patterns
- Wise Adult functioning
- Self-esteem and boundaries
- Losing and winning strategies
- Relational time-outs
- Feedback
- Repair and apology
- Speaking with honesty while protecting connection
These aren’t simply ideas to understand intellectually. We practice using them in the actual relationships and conversations where you’re getting stuck.
RLT Within the Love Wisely Method™
RLT is an important influence in my work, but I don’t want you to leave coaching simply knowing more RLT terminology.
I want the work to become part of how you live your relationship.
That’s why I integrate RLT into my four-phase Love Wisely Method:
- Map the Patterns — Recognize the relational strategies keeping your Dance of Disconnection alive.
- Mend the Wounds — Understand the younger, vulnerable places underneath those strategies.
- Master the Skills — Practice healthier communication, boundaries, regulation, accountability, and repair.
- Ignite the Spark — Use your stronger relational foundation to rebuild connection, affection, and intimacy.
Looking for an RLT Therapist or RLT Coach?
Relational Life Therapy is used by trained therapists and coaches.
I am a relationship coach, not a licensed psychotherapist.
If you are looking specifically for mental-health diagnosis or treatment, or clinical care, a licensed RLT therapist may be more appropriate.
If you’re looking for coaching focused on relationship patterns, accountability, skills, growth, and creating a healthier way of relating, my approach may be a great fit.
If you’re comparing RLT couples therapy with RLT-based coaching, read Couples Therapy vs. Couples Coaching: What’s the Difference?.
RLT principles are woven into Relationship Upleveled, my structured four-month couples coaching experience.
Work With an RLT-Certified Relationship Coach in Denver + Online
I offer in-person couples and relationship coaching in Denver near Washington Park and virtual coaching online.
Book a Free Relationship Breakthrough Call →