Winner 2024 Best of Mile High

Voted #1 Coaching Service

Winner 2024 Best of Mile High

Voted #1 Coaching Service

Relationship & Career Vitality Mind Body Energy Coaching with Coach Mary Ellen
 

Transformational Paradigm Shifts

14 Mental Shifts to Thrive in Life and Love

In the realm of transformational life coaching, paradigms play a pivotal role.

What is a paradigm?

A paradigm is a way of looking at things (core beliefs, assumptions, and thinking patterns) that are embraced by an individual or community. When we speak of a paradigm shift, we refer to a remarkable transformation, a shift in one’s belief system that opens up new possibilities.

Transformational coaching, at its essence, is the art of reshaping your thought patterns to support your personal growth and foster new ways of thriving in the world, ultimately leading you towards the fulfillment of your life’s deepest desires.

Below are 14 guiding paradigms that support my work with clients. Incorporate this wisdom into your life for more personal power and fulfillment. 

Transformational Life Coaching with Mary Ellen

14 Transformational Paradigm Shifts

1

What you resist persists.

Resistance is a normal part of the transformation process. If you are judging the parts of yourself you don’t like, you are in resistance to those parts and those parts get stronger and louder.

Resistance comes in many forms. It can look like self judgments, avoiding difficult conversations or painful emotions, complaining or fighting against a situation, or holding on to resentments.

However it shows up, it’s usually triggered by shame, pain or fear.

When you’re resisting something in your life you’re not in the mindset of changing the situation. The situations that you resist are usually your biggest areas for growth. The funny (not so funny) thing about life is it will keep giving you more of what you don’t want until you are able to lean into the challenge, accept it, own your part and find empowerment to move through and grow from the lesson it has for you.

2

Life happens for you, and through you, not to you.

We live in a loving universe. Everything that happens in your life has a lesson for you to learn and grow from.

Look for the gifts in every situation. The universe also gives us free will. Watch for how your interpretation of a situation effects your reality (see #3 below).

3

The meaning you make about a situation is more meaningful than what happened.

Your subconscious mind is always making meaning about the world around you. It’s important to bring into your conscious awarenss the meaning you make about things so you can determine if your assumptions are correct in the present moment or based on past experiences.

4

Your personal power is in having an ownership mindset.

When you take 100% responsibility for your actions, reactions and results you maintain control of your life.
When you get stuck in victim mindset, blame others or circumstances, you give your power away because you have no control over others, or outside circumstances, you only have control over yourself.

5

Emotions are energy in motion.

Your body is a conduit for energy. You are not your painful emotions. Your emotions are your internal guidance system. If mastered, your emotions can help you navigate through life, allowing you to live authentically and purposefully

6

Life is always evolving. Heal the past. Plan for the future. Most importantly enjoy the present.

Life happens now. Don’t get stuck in the past or future. There’s always going to be some pain in the past and some better place to be in the future. The only thing you have control of is right now.

7

Being honest is being loving.

Learning skills to be honest and open in a compassionate way is more loving than hiding the truth or lying to protect someone’s feelings. Open communication and trust are a pilar of any relationship. This relates to how honest you are with yourself too.

8

You can’t change anyone else, you can only change yourself.

Trying to change someone else is resisting the person as they are (see #1 above). The only person you can change is yourself. The cool thing is when you start to change and grow you are a positive role model for those around you and they are often encouraged to do the same.

9

In order to grow, you have to let go of the things you are attached to that are stopping you.

For things to change you have to change. You may have to let go of shame, blame, doubt, guilt, limited perception, and resentment… whatever keeps you stuck. We always have to let go of something to get to the next stage of our evolution. Letting go means accepting what is and moving forward anyway.

10

Practice getting comfortable with discomfort.

All change is uncomfortable. Your brains is wired to keep you the same and gets activated when things change. Normalize feeling discomfort when going through change and don’t push yourself too hard, too fast. Your nervous system likes to titrate between comfort and discomfort in order to expand it’s capacity for change.

11

To find your flow you must quiet your inner critic.

Our inner critic has a lot to say and it often gets in the way of success. In order for us to be in the flow of life and tap our genius we must learn to quiet that inner judge.

12

You have all the answers you are seeking.

You know yourself best and the answers you come to will be more powerful than a million answers from a million other people. Trusting yourself and your intuition is a learned skill.

13

Everyone is perfect, whole, and loveable exactly as they are.

You are not broken, in need of fixing. Often, you just need to remember how perfect, whole, and lovable you already are.

14

Everyone is winning the game they are playing.

If you are playing the game of self-sabotage… getting distracted by perfectionism, social media, etc. you are winning the game of being distracted.

If you keep telling yourself “I don’t belong here”, then you’re going to be focused on all evidence that proves that.

What we experience is what we subconsciously “want” to be experiencing.

The bottom line is, we make the best choices available given our resources / environment / conditioning at the time. Healing, growth, and success are not about getting rid of behaviors but rather of acquiring more behavioral choices.

PLEASE NOTE: These are not absolute truths. Sometimes people are truly victims and don’t have control or choice over their circumstances. The paradigms above relate to when we are subconsciously stuck in unhelpful patterns and false beliefs. 

Want to make a powerful mental shift to thrive in life and love?

Schedule a Mindset Makeover coaching session today!

In 60 minutes, we’ll uncover beliefs that are holding you back and activate new neural pathways in your brain and imprint new body-based wisdom, leading to astounding breakthroughs and paradigm shifts.

“SO many aha moments with Mary Ellen! She has a way of connecting with you that enables you to really get at the heart of what you’re trying to work on. Throughout the years, I’ve dabbled in therapy, increased my self care and read lots of books to better my life. Within a couple months, Mary Ellen helped me not only answer some life long questions but also provided me with the tools to sustain some much needed habit changes in my life. I’ve never felt so whole and content with who I am. Absolutely recommend, hands down!“

Ashley Hill

"I approached my journey with Mary Ellen not really knowing what ‘coaching’ would entail. I only knew that I needed help and the therapists I had worked with before weren’t cutting it. As a result of working with her for the past 4 months I feel lighter and like I finally understand the path I need to be on to heal and create the life I truly want. While there is still work I need to do, Mary Ellen helped me understand and appreciate the journey; leaving me feeling optimistic for my future self (something I would not have been able to say 4 months ago). “

M. C. – Denver, CO

“Everyone should have Mary Ellen in their lives. She has helped me confront my battles and learn to love them. I have achieved so many goals since working with her. I can honestly say I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for her and her work. She helps you identify things and work through them. I was lost, irritable, Enraged, overwhelmed, and full of anxiety. I couldn’t figure out why. She has helped me conquer those things and be able to deal with those emotions. So I can live a better life. I will continue to see Mary. She is constant, kind, calm, smart, and very talented.”

Brittney