I wouldn’t be doing the work I’m doing today if it hadn’t been for meeting my kismet coach, Jen.
It was 2015, and my partner had been working with her for over a year. Watching his growth was inspiring. He was calmer, clearer, more grounded. Meanwhile, I was spinning in circles trying to “figure out my purpose.”
I’d worked with a few coaches before, but something was missing. I was craving momentum, clarity, something real. I thought what I needed was a better business strategy. It turned out to be something much deeper.
At that point, I started to realize it wasn’t about my career path.
It was about the unhelpful beliefs quietly running the show behind the scenes.
The Coach Who Saw Me
From our first session, Jen had this combination of nurturing warmth and direct honesty. She guided me into healing the part of me that didn’t believe I was good enough, my inner child.
It wasn’t light or fluffy work. It was tender, confronting, and real.
For the first time, I felt truly seen and understood. That was deeply healing in ways I hadn’t even known I needed.
But the biggest transformation wasn’t in those early sessions.
That a year later when life gave me a very different kind of initiation.
When I Thought It Was Over
Six years into our relationship, things got rocky.
Not just a “rough patch,” but years of subtle disconnection, distance, and defensiveness. One foot in and one foot out.
I reached a point where I could feel something shifting, and it terrified me.
Around that time, I went to a 10-day silent meditation retreat. You’d think I’d spend those days finding peace and enlightenment. Instead, all I could think about was how he might be gone by the time I came home.
There were little signs. He was quieter, more distant, even cleaning underneath his area rug. (Why does that detail still feel so symbolic?)
Each day sitting in silence was torture.
My back hurt. My mind was wild. Fear had taken over.
I kept picturing myself coming home to an empty house.
Day Nine
On the ninth day, something inside me finally cracked open. My body softened, my mind went still, and my back pain, that dull ache that had been screaming for attention, suddenly disappeared.
And then, peace.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I trusted that whatever happened, I would be okay.
That I could survive loss.
That I could hold myself.
The Couch Conversation
When I returned home, to my surprise, he was still there.
But the distance was real. So I sat him down on the couch and asked directly what was going on. I told him I felt a disconnection, and I wasn’t wrong.
He admitted he was pulling away.
In that moment, I said what my heart had been rehearsing all week:
We could either break up and inevitably go heal our wounds with someone else,
or we could get help and do the work together.
Thankfully, Jen had begun working with couples, and that’s where everything changed again.
Healing in Relationship
Through that process, I learned one of the most powerful truths I’ve ever heard:
“We get wounded in relationship, and we heal in relationship.”
It hit me so deeply. We had both been doing our inner work separately because that’s what two independent, growth-oriented people do, right?
But to truly heal our relational wounds, we needed to do the work together.
And that’s what we did. That was our turning point.
The Work I Was Meant to Do
From then on, my passion and purpose were clear.
I wanted to help others experience what we had, not the pain and fear, but the healing, the repair, the reconnection that becomes possible when two people choose to do the work.
At first, I worked with individuals, helping them heal insecurities and rebuild self-esteem, knowing that inner work is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Now, I work with couples in Denver and beyond who are ready to take that next step, to stop looping through the same old fights, to understand their patterns, and to create a partnership they can be proud of.
If you’re searching for a relationship coach in Denver or looking for an alternative to traditional couples therapy that actually helps you reconnect, this is the work I love doing.
Looking back, I can see it so clearly now.
Those 10 days of silence weren’t about losing him. They were about finding myself.
And through that, I found my purpose.
If This Resonates
If you’ve felt that same quiet fear, the sense that something precious might be slipping away, you’re not alone.
Whether you’re longing for connection, tired of repeating the same fights, or wondering if it’s too late to turn things around, there’s hope.
I help couples heal disconnection, rebuild trust, and rediscover what brought them together in the first place.
💛 Click here to learn more about my Relationship Upleveled Coaching Program or book a free Discovery Call to see if this kind of work could be right for you and your partner.
Because sometimes, the thing that feels like the end
is really the beginning of a whole new chapter in love.
With loving kindness,
Mary Ellen
