What’s getting in the way of your happiness, work/life balance, that goal you can’t seem to achieve or the loving relationships you truly desire?
Enter stage left, the Self-Saboteurs… Resistance Archetypes… Ego Masks… Call them what you want.
I like to call them Survival Strategy Patterns because these ways of being were created by your subconscious mind to keep you safe. They aren’t bad, they just want to be seen, heard, and understood.
And when you give them the airtime they desire, they tend to quiet down. Then, achieving what the true-you desires becomes easier.
Here’s a short list of some of the most common Survival Strategy Patterns humans use to feel safe and avoid feeling pain.
- The Judge: Judges self, others, or situations as good or bad
- The Victim: Feels powerless to life’s circumstances
- The Flake: Is confused, lost, disorganized or flaky
- The Hyper-Achiever: Always seeks the next achievement
- The Pleaser: Helps, pleases, rescues or flatters others
- The Avoider: Procrastinates and avoids conflict with others
- The Perfectionist: Is very critical of self and others
These patterns are not who you truly are so please don’t view it as a bad thing if you recognize yourself in one or many of these patterns.
I invite you to reframe any self-judgement as an opportunity to understand your survival strategies and how you get in your own way when it comes to your desires. This type of self-awareness is truly life changing.
All these ways of being are like masks or energies that you put on for protection from feeling pain.
Unfortunately, what eventually happens is they cover up your authentic self. To achieve what the true-you desires you must look at what the strategy is protecting you from and heal the core wounds or false beliefs that are hidden under the pattern.
Being a wise, compassionate observer of your life empowers you to break patterns and have more choice when seeking to accomplish a goal or make big changes in your life.
My coaching questions for you:
- What Survival Strategy Pattern above do you notice the most in your life?
- What might that pattern be protecting you from?
- How can this awareness support you in moving forward?
